Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Back again

I know I said I'd post Thursday, but frankly I didn't yet have a decision on if I would continue posting. You see, I have a lot to say. I have a lot I'd like to share, but how to do it without making Beloved look worse? I mean, don't get me wrong, this is a true and accurate representation of what is happening, being said, etc. But, well, any person having an emotional affair on his/her spouse is going to look bad. Because it is. Bad.

I liked one of comments from the last post, and I don't know if you all read it, but I'll post it here now so that it can get read. I will be back again soon. Probably tomorrow. Oops. There I go again, setting a deadline for myself. I'll see if I can reach it. ;)

The article posted in the comment is as follows:

Dear Abby: The Other Woman regrets marrying man she cheated withBy Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I'm responding to "The Other Woman, Anywhere, USA." Please tell your readers if they find themselves in her shoes, they should RUN in the opposite direction. My husband, "John," and I both left our spouses to be together. It has been 10 years, and I regret leaving my ex-husband every day. I traded a wonderful marriage for an obnoxious, self-absorbed, arrogant man. John paid for his daughter's wedding reception with money from our joint account. John went alone. I was "forbidden" to attend.My "soul mate" usually forgets my birthday, and one year he also "forgot" Christmas. If only I could turn back time. I find myself praying for the end of time and realize I'm probably getting what I deserve.- Living With Regret

DEAR LIVING: You letter is a reminder that there is dignity in being alone and filling one's "down time" with good friends and helping the less fortunate. As I expected, "Other Woman's" letter generated a ton of mail. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Your reply to "The Other Woman" was 100 percent right on. I was once in love with a married woman and won her heart. I thought, "All's fair in love and war," and had little regard for her husband. Then I met him.When I looked into his eyes, I knew what I was doing was wrong and bad karma. Here was a human being with a soul, who loved and trusted his wife, who was true to his marriage vows and trusted her to be true, too. Spiritually, it was an important and painful lesson. My advice to married people having an affair is to ask yourselves how you would feel if you were being cheated on. Do the right thing. Honesty and integrity matter.- Former Other Man, Anywhere, USA

DEAR ABBY: I was the other woman for six years. It has taken me a year to realize how unhealthy the relationship was for me. Not only did it damage my self-esteem, but the guilt became unbearable. I wish I could go back and undo what I have done. Luckily, I now have someone who cares about me and accepts me - flaws and all - and loves me for who I am all the time, not just one or two hours a week.- Wiser Now in Virginia

DEAR ABBY: I was the other woman. Over time I have come to understand that I believed what I wanted to believe because I was lonely, needy and vulnerable. I learned as time went on that my lover was incapable of developing a mature, responsible and meaningful relationship. I experienced the calamitous consequences emotionally, psychologically and financially - as did our child. Through counseling, friendships and networking with other women and getting to know myself in a rigorously honest way, I became too healthy to be the other woman. I'm now in the marriage I always dreamed of to a man with character and heart, who is devoted to me and "our" child. I learned that the right man would find me when I became the person he was looking for. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it.- Finally Fulfilled

DEAR ABBY: Thank you for the letter from "The Other Woman" and your reply. I have been divorced 12 years and involved with a married man for more than a year. The affair has been lonely, degrading, unfulfilling and a real self-esteem buster.Your answer reminded me of what I have always known. Because of it, I have decided to end my affair and get back into the real world. I hope "Other Woman" wakes up and does the same. And soon. -- GRATEFUL IN ALABAMA


MiMi said...

Yes, I read that one, it was a good one. Glad you are back, it's good to have an outlet.

Cammie said...

Im stopping by from SITS to welcome you to our group. Im so sorry for the pain you are in right now.

Mommyof2girlz said...

Stopping in to welcome you to SITS!

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

I'm so sorry for this whole situation you are in. You are a strong women wanting to stick by him - but also being LDS I completely understand your reasons. I hope you are able to work together through this with the help of the Lord & possibly your Bishop or Stake Pres. (I read a ton of your blog but not all - so don't know all the situation!) You'll be in my prayers. Oh, and welcome to SITS too btw! :)

Joy said...

You're brave and courageous to write about what you're going through. It is a good form of therapy.

Stopping by to welcome you to the SITS community! It's great to have you as a SITSta!

Sam (aka Superwoman) said...

cheaters just don't get it.... I have a cousin who left her wonderful husband(Paul) and children (7 and 4) for another man. 2 months after leaving, she regretted it and to this day she regrets it. All of us told her she was making a stupid mistake, the guilt has eaten her up inside to the point that she has now become a drug addict. She does have a relationship with her children now, but it took years (they wouldn't talk to her for many years, they hated her, even while their dad made them talk to her and spend time with her) those children have suffered so much...they don't trust and cannot hold onto a relationship. Paul told her he would wait for her, but finally he moved on. My Cousin ruined her family in 1 swoop. sad.