Monday, June 8, 2009

If you don't laugh, you cry.

A few months ago his ex-girlfriend (not the one he is now 'in love' with a different one--the one I knew about that he dated just before me) wanted to friend him on Facebook and I told him that I wasn't comfortable with that. He kind of cleared up how would I feel if he was contacting just old friends and I said that was fine, becuase that is what I thought he was doing and what facebook is about, you know?

Anyway, then he said "I mean, if you were talking to Terry it wouldn't bother me" Which I thought was odd, and I figured he said it would bother him and I misheard him. Because why would he be ok with me talking to someone I adored for 2 years and thought I was in love with at the time? Now it occurs to me that he had already been having his emotional affair with Shannon for 2-3 months at the time. And what makes it funny (instead of sad--because maybe I could have asked him to clarify and maybe we could have stopped this thing before he went out there to see her and felt he couldn't live without her) is that I said something like "oh, yeah, I'm sure his wife would like that" And he said "He's married now?" And he actually looked disappointed. And I took it for confusion...like he had forgotten and was confused that he didn't remember this bit of information.

You know what?

I think he was trying to pawn me off on T! I think he was hoping I would form an attachment like he was forming and so then he wouldn't have to feel guilty or worry about me!

Isn't that hilarious?

Isn't that just stab-you-in-the-back-spit-in-your-face-hilarious?

Ok, it sounds like I'm more bitter about that than I really am.

Because, although it is sad, I do think it is actually funny, too.

Maybe because I see the folly in his thought processes.

Maybe you can see the humor in it, too?

8 comments:

Sam (aka Superwoman) said...

it is not funny. he is a liar.

also, can you please refer to her by her real name- "Skanky ho bag".

Gigi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gigi said...

Sam, I love that you are so concerned about me. But I am trying to be positive and just do what I feel the Lord is telling me to do. And I do feel like I have to laugh at some things or they just hurt. I don't need to feel all that stuff right now. I need to focus my energy. I know you are my big sister and want to beat him down. Believe me, I understand. But I need your support right now. In the form of understanding and patience. With me AND him. I'm grateful you love me so vehemently. It's how I feel about you.

Sam (aka Superwoman) said...

i know, after I posted I figured i probably shouldn't. I am here to support you. I love you. I will not say anything mean about him, but I can't agree to call her anyting but skanky hoe-bag. sorry.

Gigi said...

That's ok. I'm not asking you to. ;)

DirknRory said...

you guys crack me up!

wonder woman said...

There is a certain bit of ironic humor to it. Unfortunately.

hawkgrrrl said...

Late to the game here, but yes, he was trying to pawn you off or get you to do what he is doing so he doesn't feel like he's victimizing you. It's just kind of sad and immature.

I've got two BILs who cheated, one ended in divorce (after 30 years and a decades-long secret affair), and the other stayed together but died young, leaving my sister a widow in her 40s. The ones who divorced are still friends (via facebook, incidentally), and now that his health has deteriorated, affair-woman is not willing to take care of him.

You can build a relationship on a lot of things (self-sacrifice, respect, raising a family), but being "soulmates" is just an excuse to justify relentless pursuit of a specific person and selfish behavior.