Saturday, June 6, 2009

Ok, so not so smart

I posted last night at around 1:30 or 2 am. Then climbed into bed and couldn't sleep. I fell asleep around 3:40 and woke up at 4:30. Couldn't sleep, but baby boy (1) needed comfort so I nursed him and then at around 5:30 got up to work out. What did I think would happen working out on only 40 or so minutes of sleep? Don't ask me. I guess I just felt like I had to be doing something.
Beloved reached out for me in his sleep. I know that he loves me. I know he is just really confused. And I know Satan is super happy, but I hope not for long.

I'm trying to keep the attitude that it is nothing I have done wrong. Because really, I don't know what I could have done differently, other than read the warning signs earlier. Or trusted in my instinct more than I trusted in Beloved's honor and integrity. . . which he always had so much of...
I am praying that he proves to be the man I know he is.

Oh gosh, I know I'm going to get hate mail...
Trust me, I would have sent myself hate mail, too. Well, before.

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