Sunday, August 9, 2009

Happy Anniversary...To Me.

Today, Sunday August 9th
it is 12 years that Beloved and I have been married.
On our living room wall is a picture of us on our wedding day.
I wish I could go back in time and...what? Warn her?
NO. I wouldn't change our life together.
And not that I could do anything differently, I don't think,
that would result in him not falling in with her.
Except perhaps, Facebook.
But, then again, FB isn't to blame.
Because who's to say he wouldn't have looked her up on his own someday?
If it's true that he never got over her all these years.
I don't know.
I have to keep going.
Right now I think of going to church tomorrow,
and seeing my friends,
seeing the kids I teach,
and I don't want to get out of bed.
Is that awful?
Yeah. Probably.
I'm just feeling sorry for myself.
And that will get me nowhere.
So buck up, girl.
Don't forget who you are.
You are stronger than this.
And where you aren't strong, God will make you strong.
Look at all He has done so far.

14 comments:

JennyMac said...

Happy Anniversary

Housewife Savant said...

Are you kidding me? [above comment]

I'm sorry about the bitter-sweetness of today.
Think on better anniversaries.

I outed you, er, shouted you OUT in my post this morning.
I hope a little laughter will bring sunshine your way. xo

@eloh said...

THIS....is too much......I am who I am......Grand Torinio time baby...


Hey Gigi; gather your strength and hold your head up high. However this turns out, those babies need their mothers strength.

I am in awe of your self control. God be with you.

@eloh said...

I went visiting, a split second on the profile tells all.

Alicia said...

Fron reading everything you've shared, I know that you are capable of this.

And by this, I mean being the bigger person. I don't think it's ever easier to be the bigger person, but I admire you for the way you've handled everything so far.

You, my dear, can hold your head high. Thank you for your insights. You've blessed my life.

The Johnson Family said...

You can do it! Don't let him win. You are stronger than you know. Just we remember that we are all sitting with you in spirit at church.

The Redhead Riter said...

Happy Anniversary!!! Very happy for you.

Alicia said...

^
I
I

What?! Ha ha!

MiMi said...

What the?? Seriously, if people are being "ironic" or "sarcastic" you can't tell in TYPED comments, right??
Oy.
Anyway, if God leads you to it, He'll lead you through it...
Remember that! I think I told you that before, and that no matter what things look like on the other side, He has brought you there. It'll work out, somehow.

Anne Fisher said...

Oh Gigi! My heart aches for you. IT's like watching my sister's story all over again. I love you and your family and will keep praying for you. I know that God will give you strength, and he will give your children strength. I know that because I've seen it in my sister.

Also, will you tell "beloved" that I love him? He has always been one of my favorite people. I know he's not thinking straight. He's just so entangled by sin, he's not sure which way is up. I know he really doesn't grasp what the consequences will be of his actions. If he did, he'd turn himself around and run back to you and your family, begging for forgiveness.

You're in my prayers!!!

The Redhead Riter said...

So I went back and read her first posting and she left me a note. I misunderstood her posting to be that she was jealous that her husband was talking on the internet to her old girlfriend. Since this is the first post I read, I had no idea what was really being said.

But you know what, it is a happy anniversary of a new life for her because if he didn't love her enough to be faithful, move on. I was married for 16 years and literally nearly died from crying so much. I ended up weighing 105lbs and I am 5'8" with a normal weight of much more than that without being heavy at all. You could see the indention between the bones in my forearm, my ribs in my back...I looked anorexic. HE WAS NOT WORTH CRYING OVER. Although that may sound harsh to you now, it is the truth. Please seek professional counseling to get you through this pain, because it really could kill you and a counselor can help.

I'm sorry I misunderstood in the beginning comment.

wonder woman said...

I still don't understand Red. Beloved IS worth tears. It'd just be nice if it wasn't necessary. Ü Anyway.....

12 years ago you made covenants with God you are doing your darnedest to honor. THAT is worth remembering and celebrating. You are a woman -- a DAUGHTER -- of God, whom He loves. Of that I have no doubt.

I personally haven't endured what you are, but I wonder what I would tell myself if I could go back to me on my own wedding day. I don't think that's abnormal. I hope Beloved takes some time to remember that day 12 years ago, too. ♥♥♥

Karen said...

I stopped by from SITS and got completely sucked in. I thought I was going through some hard things, but I can't imagine how hard this must be for you.

Keep your faith in God and keep being strong for your kids. They need you.

Jessica said...

Thinking about you...