Tuesday, August 11, 2009

We are fine...

I need to thank you all for your prayers on my family's behalf. God heard them, let me tell you.

All afternoon I felt peaceful. Then I started to panic. 'Why do I feel peaceful? Why aren't I freaking out? Shouldn't I feel sick to my stomach?'

And then I thought, 'Ok, Gigi, if you are feeling peaceful, it is a gift from Heavenly Father, so just take it and be thankful for it.' And so I was. I still prayed for my kids. I still asked you all for your prayers. (Thank you for them!!!)
But tonight, my children were at peace as well.

Beloved expressed his love for them and then explained that he is living at a friend's house. That he moved some things over there while we were gone and that he will be sleeping there from now on and that if they want him to, he'd like to come over every day, and if they don't want to see him, he won't come over, and if they are scared and want him in the middle of the night, he'll come then, too.

Big Girl kept looking back and forth at me and him. I just tried to send her love, because I was most worried about her. Big Boy just sat and listened quietly. Beloved said that they can ask him questions any time and if they feel like being alone they can tell him, and if they are angry they can tell him that, too. Big Girl asked, 'when are you coming back?' And Beloved answered, 'I don't know. I just don't know.' And Big Girl said, 'ok.' He reminded them that he loves them and this has nothing to do with how much he loves them, etc.

Big Boy said, 'ok.'
Big Girl said, 'ok.
Baby Girl (4) twirled around the room. (Beloved had to repeat the conversation with her later, as she wasn't listening at all.)
Baby Boy (1) is too young to know anything.

After the talk was over and a little while later I was alone and I prayed because I was confused (see, I'm a little thick sometimes) that they weren't crying and all. And I felt like, for a moment I could feel what their hearts felt like and I could feel that Heavenly Father had done for them what he had done for me that first night and had cushioned their hearts and held them up so it doesn't hurt so bad.

Big Boy seemed releaved to know what was going on. Big Girl, I am going to watch, but I think she had a feeling it was coming. There have been things she has said to me. I should post about that, shouldn't I? (Note to self...)

Do I think that there will be times that they cry and carry on and are angry? Sure. Heck, I do it, why shouldn't they? But I am thankful for right now. I think that is all I can really do right now: Be thankful for the blessings when they come, and then face the next challenge. It's pretty much new every day.

I want to thank you all for your love and prayers. I really feel them.


The Johnson Family said...

God's love and power is a pretty incredible thing! I'm so relieved for you and for your children. I'm sure it will hit them soon and they will be upset, but glad it was okay tonight. So he didn't tell them about Shannon? Just that he moved out? I'm sure they are going to be upset when he tells them the whole truth and that daddy is in love with another woman and will be moving to Cali to be with her. I'm glad he didn't though. They will probably ask more questions later, but I guess this was a good place to start.
I know you are just making this up as you go. I totally commend you for being the world's greatest MOM!!! You are pretty fantastic. I know I tell you that all the time, but it's the truth. LOVE YA!

MiMi said...

I'm glad you are all at peace right now. I wonder if they're slightly shocked or don't know exactly what it all means right now. I will keep you all in my prayers, sweety, I just can't imagine...well, I think I told you before that I CAN imagine, so it makes me just sick for you.
Anyway, sounds like you and God have it all under control for now.
Hope you have a good night's rest and can face what comes next, although, I know you will because why?? Because...YOU ROCK!

Housewife Savant said...

I'm glad it went smoothly.

Daily Fixer said...

I just came across your blog and it brought back so many memories for me. The emotions involved in breaking away from someone who has cheated is exhausting. It took me a while to get over it, but I am now happily married to a wonderful man.

God speed.

wonder woman said...

God really does answer prayers. I'm so grateful that the Spirit was in your home last night so strongly.

(I'm honestly in tears right now. Probably because I'm pregnant. But I was so worried about you guys last night. I'm glad I didn't need to be.)

Joanne said...

I just wish my mother-in-law had handled her similar situation with as much class and dignity that you have handled this. She created a lot of damage to her children by behaving so terrible.

Your children are blessed to have such a wonderful mother. Keep being strong for them and feel free to vent and spew here (if needed).

Anonymous said...

Gigi...remember the feelings you had. Everything will be OK. You must continue to be able to find your solid center, that allows you to be happy and at peace when you choose, regardless of life’s circumstances.

JustRandi said...

I'm so grateful that you feel peace, and you can see the lord's hand in your life.

I was also grateful to give you some hugs yesterday. Thanks for letting me come!

Karen said...

My parents separated for several months before they were divorced. They didn't tell us they were separated. My dad was living in an apartment quite a distance away because he had taken a new job. It started out with my parents looking for a house near the new place, and then we were just seeing Dad on the weekends, and then sometimes my mom wouldn't be around. And then she was never around for those weekends.

And then they told us they were getting a divorce.

I was 9 and I'll never forget that conversation.

I cannot praise you enough for being this open with your kids at this stage of the process. That's going to help them through the transition more than you could ever know.

Bumpkin on a Swing said...

Ready to draft a letter anytime for you.....

Shop Girl* said...

Oh hunny.

I'm a new reader (thanks for your lovely comment on my blog... I'm glad I'm not the only one out there with a passion for Les Mis!) and I've just been catching up a bit on your blog. I'm so sorry that you're going through this... I can't even begin to imagine what this has been like for you. I SO admire your attitude, openness and honesty with your children (and yourself).

I hope the church is supporting you as you go through this. It warms my heart that you are feeling such a closeness with the spirit right now... several of my friends are going through terrible divorces and their outlook is a little... different.

Here's hoping tomorrow is fabulous. xo